Saturday, November 13, 2010

Hic et Nunc

"The inauthentic man makes uncritical assumptions, and his thoughts are preoccupied with everyday concerns. His joy is always at the mercy of what happens externally. In a sense the newspaper or television does his thinking for him. His thought-life is merely an exercise in distraction to avoid restlessness or boredom, a kind of continual woolgathering...Life is reduced to a mere passing of time...The inauthentic man seeks safety in normality. He denies his uniqueness by becoming "average." ...He believes as he is expected to believe, in accordance with societal convention. Surpressing the urge to excel, he levels himself downward and becomes "everyman." He abandons responsibility for his decisions and hence for his existence."

- R.C. Sproul on Martin Heidegger's "Inauthentic Man"


"Scripture frequently records the discomfort of the guilty who seek shelter from God's sight, calling on the hills to cover them. Sinful man does not want God to look at him; he wants God to overlook him. Yet from a biblical perspective the forgiven sinner knows no blessing equal to God's benevolent gaze; he enjoys the light of God's countenance upon him and wants God to make his face shine upon him."

- R.C. Sproul on Jean-Paul Sartre's idea of subjectivity

The Consequences of Ideas, 2000, Crossway

Monday, August 3, 2009

God Is Alive in South Africa!

Here is my journal from the trip! Thank you all for everything - prayers and financial support!

Day 1
My flight to DC was really short and I was actually pretty bored in the airport. When I got in line to board the next flight, there was a group of girls wearing Global Expeditions shirts. They are all going to Uganda as a group. We ended up having seats all together but we fell asleep before we had even taken off. Once we got to Dallas we went to baggage claim but nobody was there to pick us up. One of the girls called GE and finally someone came. We took a shuttle to a different part of the airport where we met up with tons of other kids. I met two girls, Kaula and Jenna, and we hung out all day. We sat together on the bus from the airport to Teen Mania. I fell asleep for a while and when I woke up we were parked in the middle of the highway. The bus didn't have oil or something, but either way we were stuck with no air conditioning in the 110 degree weather for a long time. Someone finally fixed it and we got to campus and got registered. Kaula and Jenna are in different dorms because Kaula is going to Panama and Jenna is going on the South Africa B trip, which is a month long. After we got our luggage, we met our teams and did some games. Last night we had worship and a sermon. I called Dad to let him know I'm ok.

Day 2
We trained all day and got to know the team better. Breakfast was at 6 and lights out was 12:30 so I'm really tired. Worship was amazing and I feel like I really gave my burdens to God.

Day 3
This morning we got up at 4:30 and were on the bus by 6. Our flight left Dallas at 11:15 and we got into DC around 3. We are taking off right now for South Africa! It is a 17 hour flight. Our plane is sweet - there are tv's on every seat that show us taking off. Cameron, Micah, Mark, and I were up for the first eight hours talking to some South African people and practicing evangelizing. When we got to Senegal we all fell asleep.

Day 4
We took a bus from the JoBurg airport to the Youth for Christ facility, ate dinner, showered, and went to bed. It is freezing here! It took so long to fall asleep because I was shivering.

Day 5
This morning we had an amazing speaker come from Cape Town and train us. He taught us alot about finding God's purpose for our lives and got us ready for the missions field. My group made lunch and then we all got on the bus again and went to the ministry site, Kya Sands. The children immediately gathered around us. I picked up a ball and started throwing it to a little boy. One of the mothers let me hold her baby; he had yellow, cloudy eyes and looked so malnourished. My group went shack to shack, just talking and praying with people and inviting them to church. One woman was only 19 and pregnant; she was carrying a huge, heavy water bucket on her head. Me and Sara helped her and it was so eye opening. The process involves scrubbing out the buckets, carrying them downhill about half a mile, filling them at the community fresh water tap, then carrying them on your head back uphill. People were lining the dirt street laughing and yelling at us. It was really funny! At another shack we gathered all the little girls in a circle and taught them the hokey pokey. They laughed and laughed. It is so hard for me to see kids Olivia and Ben's age starving and sick. I wish I had more to give them.
By the time we got back to campus it had warmed up alot. Me and Sara went down to the playground with some other kids and hung out. It was the first time seeing the campus in daylight - it is so beautiful. The road is brick and there is a huge soccer field, rope course, pool, and even a life sized chess game! There are tons of monkeys here too!
At dinner I saw Jenna; she had just arrived from Paris with her team. It was nice to see a familiar face.
Tyesha and I slept in the loft, which is way warmer than the rest of the dorm.

Day 6
We had mandatory exercise at 5:30 am! My arms are sore from push ups but it was actually really fun. Today is Rudi's birthday! We got her a cake and a hot water bottle holder. Ministry went well; we prayed with alot of people and met one guy in particular who was really friendly. His name is Terrance and he thought it was cool that I live in New York. I gave him a dime because he wanted American money. We met a group of women who were struggling with certain pains and sicknesses. While were talking to them, one of them grabbed a hair tie off my wrist and put it in her daughter's hair. It's funny how such a small thing makes them so happy.
Later in the day a little baby walked up to us and pointed to himself and said "Ed!" over and over. It was so cute.
Tomorrow is my group's turn to do VBS!

Day 7
I am so tired - my eyes will not stay open.
Later
A miracle happened! All day long my group was really discouraged because the people we talked to weren't responding at all. We were heading back to the bus but I saw a man smoking in the street and thought we should stop and talk to him. As Krista and I were explaining the Gospel to him, a group of his friends gathered around to listen. When I turned to ask Lawrence (our translator for the day) what the man was saying, I was prepared to be disappointed. I almost couldn't believe it when he said they all wanted to accept Jesus into their hearts. There were six men all together! We all held hands and prayed. When we were done (by that time Sara and I were crying) you could actually see the change in their faces. Their eyes lit up and they were smiling so big.
On the way home we shared our stories with the other groups. One group saw God heal a baby and another group saw a girl who couldn't walk actually start limping around the room! When we got back we played volleyball and soccer and after dinner we washed the other teams' dishes.
It's so cold! I am wearing sweats under my skirt and socks with flipflops to church tomorrow! And gloves.

Day 8
This morning was freezing (no surprise!) but it was all worth it because the church service was more than amazing. Judah Africa Church is a tent about one third the size of my church sanctuary. It is really pretty, though, and the people who gather there are in total awe of God. The worship was incredible. I really can't even describe it. The band would play four lines of the same song over and over for fifteen minutes and the whole place would just be singing at the top of their lungs and shouting and clapping and most of all, dancing. Danny, Taylour, and Cam gave their testimonies and Trace spoke. When he gave an altar call for us to pray for healing, literally the whole congregation rushed forward. Over and over, a man or woman would put their hands in mine and I would just pray for God to provide a job or healing for them. The music started again and a woman put her baby in my arms. I prayed for him and cried and asked God to protect him. It's hard to explain but I felt a burden for his little heart, like it was my responsibility to keep him safe. He was playing with my hair and I didn't want to let him go. He was probably 6 months old but I just want God to use him and protect him all his life.
Right now everyone is hanging out but I really need to just get myself together. I am so exhausted in every way. I feel like I've been stretched so much and it's good for me but I need to be careful that I don't have a meltdown or snap at anyone. I think I will be ready to go home on Thursday. This trip has changed me so much. If I've learned anything, it's discipline. I'm usually so lazy and passive, but everything has changed. All day we are constantly seeking God. In the morning we pray for guidance and direction, during the day we ask for wisdom and words to say, and at night it is total worship and thanks. I'm not used to that, let alone having no secular music or movies. It really makes me think about everything I do, because like Louie said, our paths are planned by God.

Day 9
Last night's worship was so good. I sat with Jenna and her friends from B trip. The music was amazing and we had Impact Africa's founder speak. At the end he gave a call for any people who want to go into full time missionary work. Jenna was one of the kids who stepped forward and we laid hands on her and prayed.
So anyway, God has a sense of humor - Rich preached about self-denial :) I think God is trying to tell me something.
I called Mom last night but we could only talk for a couple minutes and I'm getting really homesick. I also can't wait to share my trip with my youth group and friends at Circle C!

Later
Ministry was good but I just feel so overwhelmed. My whole body is aching and I haven't been putting my all into ministering. Regardless of me, though, God moved. Three people accepted Christ and one woman stopped us in the street and asked for prayer because she was tested positive for HIV last week. One highlight of my day was during lunch. I talked to one of the older translators, Kenny, for a long time and it felt like one of the most meaningful conversations I've had the whole trip. He asked questions about the US and my family. He has never heard of a moose! How strange!
Tonight we had Mexican food! It made me so happy. Afterwards we dressed up as superheroes and had a dance party. The team is really close and I'm going to miss everyone so much, but I know I'll be happy to see my family and friends back home.

Day 10
This morning I woke up warm! I think it is because I was wrapped in two hoodies and my sleeping bag, and wearing gloves. We had french toast for breakfast, which also made me really happy, and it was soooo good.
We met a man early in the day, who I will always remember. His name is Solomon and he is 83 years old. I asked if he was named after the Bible's Solomon and he said 'Yes! The wise man!' He was a really cool person and truly wise. He is originally from Zimbabwe and he wants to go back to his homeland, so we prayed that God would bring him home. He told us that God has always provided for him and helped him survive, even though nobody will hire him because he is so old. I have never seen faith like that in the United States, and we all can get jobs if we want to.
This afternoon during ministry we talked to a man named Johannes the whole three hours. He had so many questions and as I was telling him my testimony and sharing God's word, it hit me that He puts suffering in our lives so that we can relate to other people. Kos (our translator) was so funny - when Johannes asked if smoking is bad, she said 'It is written: 'Could cause cancer' on the package! Yes, it is bad!' That girl is so funny. Yesterday, when someone asked if we came from apes, she told this story:
Once there were some students who asked their professor if humans evolved from monkeys. The teacher said yes, but one student stood up and said 'Then that must be why you look like an ape.' The teacher got offended, so the student said 'You shouldn't be ashamed of your forefathers and that is why I know I'm created in the image of God.'
I am really going to miss her and Kenny. As we were running through the village to catch the bus, the children called out and screamed good byes.

The Africans picked on me all week for being such a slow American :) I can't help it that I walk slow!

Day 11
Today was one of the coolest days of my life. We went on the safari and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Baby elephants were only a few feet away from me! The most amazing moment, though, was seeing the stars. I have never seen anything so beautiful. The African sky is so big and the stars are so bright. I wish everyone could see them. I will never forget tonight.

Day 12
Our last day together as a team.
We were on the bus by noon after cleaning and debriefing. I am getting really sick and so is Rudi. I feel like death warmed over. The flight got delayed six hours and they keep switching our gates so I've been sleeping on the airport floor. Everyone has been really sweet to me. Sara carried my bag for me all day, Tyesha bought me water, and the boys took my shoes off when I was sleeping and gave me all their hoodies and blankets because I could not get warm. My fever just broke a little while ago.
I will miss South Africa.